Honor Your Father and Your Mother

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12

Most people think this commandment was meant only for kids. However, this commandment’s basic intention was actually to command grown children to take care of their aging parents. God’s retirement plan for parents was children. God said here that if children provided for their parents for a long time, he would provide for them for a long time. Jesus himself showed that he interpreted the commandment in this way when he criticized the Pharisees for allowing people to give money that was meant to take care of their parents as an offering instead (Matthew 15:3-6; Mark 7:9-13).

Having said that, this commandment was not meant for only grown children either. Parents and teachers can appropriately use this commandment to tell kids that God wants them to obey their parents. Paul used it this way in Ephesians 6:1-2, where he said, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’...” Apparently Paul thought that this commandment taught children to obey their parents. But how could Paul think this? How does “Honor your father and mother” command grown children to take care of their parents and young children to obey their parents? The answer to this question lies in the nature of Old Testament law.

Old Testament law is much different than American law. American laws are intended to cover every crime a person could commit. Consequently, the United States Code of Laws is over 200,000 pages long. Our judges cannot convict someone of a crime if it is not specifically prohibited. Old Testament law, on the other land, was not intended to cover every crime. Instead, it’s 613 laws were meant to give models of how God wanted the Israelites to live. Israel’s judges were expected to “read between the lines” to decide what God would want for any given court case. For example, no Israelite could successfully defend himself by saying, “Sure, Exodus 23:4 says to return my enemy’s ox or donkey if it wanders off, but it says nothing about what to do if I find his goat wandering off.” In a word, American law is exhaustive while Old Testament law is paradigmatic.

Within Old Testament law, the Ten Commandments hold a special place. These ten rules were meant to be a memorable summary of all six hundred and thirteen of God’s rules for living in the Pentateuch. An even shorter summary would be “Love God, Love People” (Matthew 22:37-40), but the Ten Commandments help us better understand what that means.

The commandment “Honor your father and mother” is a rather specific law requiring grown children to take care of their aging parents. However, as with all of God’s laws and especially the Ten Commandments, it was meant to communicate one of God’s broader desires. In this case, God wants us to understand that his desire is for children to honor their parents and for everyone to respect God’s representatives of authority in their lives. Therefore, Paul could rightly tell children that this commandment asks them to obey their parents because in this way they would both honor their parents and respect the authorities God had placed over them.

Instruct your children to obey the commandment “Honor your father and mother” by respecting and obeying you. But more importantly, set an example for your children by honoring your parents and all those in authority over you. When your children see the blessing of coming under God’s order in your life, they will be more likely to come under God’s order in their lives.

By God’s Grace,

Pastor Stephen